Saturday, January 9, 2010
My Love For Emma
(I decided to enter this old note first as homage to my daughter Emma - a brave little girl who is quickly becoming an awesome young lady. I wrote this quite some time ago, but it's as pertinent to day as it ever was.)
Because of Emma, I am beginning to understand the true meaning of love.
Today I dropped Emma off at school, and as I watched her unpack her things and go through her bag I saw a little girl earnestly trying to always be her best. She very was anxious to be right - it seemed to me.
I felt a surge of such love for this little girl who needed so much assurance that my heart broke. It breaks each time I see the anxiety on her face and realise she is trying her utmost to keep up in spite of her disability. I can't help but want to smother her with with love and re-assurances. She will always be more than good enough to me, but there is such a cruel world out there...
She makes me want to be my most savage and noble. For her I want to be Hero, Protector, Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Santa, Easter Bunny and everything else that brings safety, joy magic and love to life. She is my alpha and omega - because of her I want to be the very best person I can be. Through her I learn more about myself every day. Because of her my walls are continually crumbling away. She has warmed my heart and filled my life with awe.
I will always love Emma - she is my undoing.
She has opened a mortal wound in my soul from which there will be no return. I shall never be the same and I shall never want to be that way again.
I love you Emma